Why finding the right doctor is key to getting diagnosed and getting the care you deserve.
I’ve had many interesting and horrifying experiences with doctors and medications over the last 20 plus years of living with 4 autoimmune conditions.
This story is one of my favorites. It highlights the importance of finding the right doctor.
It is well known that many mid-career and senior physicians still base their approach on the “one-size-fits-all” method when it comes to diagnosing and treating patients.
One of my first doctors was an older gentleman, an award-winning New York City endocrinologist… who fired me as a patient. Yep. I was fired by my doctor. Here is why…
I had been diagnosed for a year or two at this point and had begun to research my illness more. I had no clue what the disease was when I was first diagnosed. I had never heard of it before. I did some research and started to want to be an active participant in my healthcare.
I wanted take some responsibility in helping myself feel better.
Instinctively, I knew that if I took some action and responsibility I would feel more empowered and less overwhelmed. I didn’t want to rely only on my doctor for information and guidance. I also thought being more educated would be helpful for my doctor.
Until we got the medication dose correct, I was seeing this doctor every few weeks. Each time I went to see him, I started asking more questions.
I did not mean him any disrespect. I’d simply say something like…
“I saw online that -X- medication has worked for some people, can I try it?”
“ -Y- is a new treatment showing good results in initial studies, what do you think?”
“Can I try upping my dose, I know the levels look normal, but I still don’t feel normal.”
I could see his frustration building with each question I asked, but I couldn’t understand why he was getting angry. I was just trying to be a good patient by being an educated patient.
His frustration kept building… but so was mine!
Finally, when he told me to do something I did not agree with, I asked, “Why should I do that?”… and he lost it.
He said…
“Young lady, I am the doctor here, not you. If you question my authority, if you continue to ask questions, I will not be your doctor anymore. You are not allowed ask me questions or to question me, ever!”
Geez!
It was clear he did not want me to be an educated patient, or a patient with a mouth and a brain. He was firing me, or maybe I fired him by never going back. Either way, I knew I needed a new doctor. This time it would be one who allowed me to ask questions.
I should say, this was not fun in the moment. I was young, upset, and could not understand what his issues were with me asking questions.
I know now that it was the best thing that could have happened for me. It taught me early on the importance of finding the right doctor.
You need a doctor who will listen to your concerns and see you as an individual. You need a doctor who will treat the patient and not the illness, and one who will not only allow you, but want you to ask questions.
You need a doctor who is open to you having an active role in your own health plan.
At this point in my healthcare, I have a team of doctors who communicate and collaborate with me and with each other. That is how it should be. It is a team in which I am an active player. Having the right team is one of the keys to getting better.
Having doctors that include me in the plan helps me feel empowered, not powerless like many do when dealing with a diagnosis.
Many women report their health conditions and symptoms have been overlooked, dismissed by doctors, or that it took years to get an accurate diagnosis. It’s a real, pervasive, and harmful problem, especially for female and minority patients.
It is up to you to speak up, get a second opinion, get educated, and keep searching until you find the right doctor.
Oh… in case you’re wondering… no, I have not been fired by another doctor since.
Has this happened to you or someone you love? Share in my private Facebook group! It is private group that is about EMPOWERING each other to take back control over physical, emotional, and mental wellness! It is for those who are READY to TAKE ACTION and be active participants in their own healthcare!
